Expect The Unexpected
by LisaDouglas
Summary: Mrs. Hughes discovers retirement might be far different from what they'd planned. First Downton fic.
1. A Matter Of Inheritance

*This is my first Downton fic and something I'm trying out just for fun. Let me know what you think.

Chapter One- A Matter Of Inheritance

She was very rarely, if ever at a loss for words with Charlie Carson. But right then that was all she could think about: not knowing what to say to him. She was speechless and in fact, found that she could barely even breathe.

"What will we do about this?" She asked herself, still staring at the telegram as she sunk into one of the chairs in her sitting room.

Her mind swam. Would this hasten their wedding and retirement, or put it off, or worse cancel it altogether? Mrs. Hughes was so lost in thought she didn't notice Mrs. Patmore standing there in her open doorway jabbering on a mile a minute about something. Elsie looked up, with wide eyes and just stared for a moment. Mrs. Patmore caught onto her doubt-filled gaze and immediately began to panic.

"It's not another you know…another _scare_ is it?!" She whispered that last part just incase anyone was listening.

"No! No! It's nothing like that…well perhaps it is something like that. Here… come in and shut the door, quickly."

"Should I phone Dr. Clarkson…"

"No." Elsie replied calmly. "It's nothing that warrants his assistance."

Mrs. Hughes paused again for a moment, looking down at the telegram, taking the time to carefully reread the words. Even now, the third time she'd read it, it came as such a shock and she found herself completely overwhelmed that a couple of simple sentences could have the potential to change her life forever.

"Well?" Mrs. Patmore pressed. Mrs. Hughes hesitated.

While Mrs. Patmore was her good friend, who'd stood by her through so much, but she didn't know if she was the person she should be sharing this news with… or if she should share it with anyone right then. She was overwhelmed and didn't know what to do, or even if she'd do anything at all. She didn't want Carson to hear or suspect a thing until her head was clear and she was sure of what she wanted. This was a serious subject, almost more serious than her scare had been: and Carson had found her out then precisely because she'd told Beryl and because she'd not been tight lipped enough.

Even in the midst of her confusion, Mrs. Hughes smiled at the thought of his joy the night he'd been told she was well. She knew that would always be one of her most treasured memories because it was the moment she'd realized that he loved her back and she'd long loved him. Elsie wondered for a split second if perhaps she shouldn't just take the newly discovered news straight to him so they could decide it together… and then, without another thought, the fear of rejection by her love came creeping back, clouding her judgment: she had so looked forward to their shared future. She felt like a weak schoolgirl in even beginning to think this way but her heart broke a little at the mere thought that he might not want her because of this news.

"Who died?" Mrs. Patmore asked, studying her friend's still sullen face.

"A cousin, the only cousin I had left I'm afraid."

"Oh?"

"Yes um…Mrs. Patmore perhaps you could fetch us some tea… alright?"

"Sure, sure." Mrs. Patmore was confused and even more uncertain now about Elsie's attitude.

A cousin had died and it seemed strange to her that she didn't seem sad, only very burdened.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Hughes was glad to have gotten rid of Beryl for a moment. She took a deep breath and put her head in her hands.

"Calm down lass." She warned herself quietly. "Calmness is key..."

Part of Mrs. Hughes thought she should go and tell her ladyship. The family was generous after all, and Cora a sweet woman, perhaps they'd be inclined to assist? Another part of her, almost instinctively, felt the need to make a trip over to Crawley House: matters like this were Isobel Crawley's forte. She'd been the first person to come to mind after reading the telegram and Mrs. Hughes knew without a doubt that she would know what to do… But then there was Mr. Carson. If he was to be her husband he had every right to make an equal share of this decision with her. How could she not unburden herself to him of all people?

"You're not pregnant are you?" Beryl asked as she came back into the room, tea tray in hand, and shut the door.

"Mrs. Patmore!" Elsie burst in surprise "Have you gone…"

"Oh you know I'm just teasin! Besides, you couldn't be more alarmed if you were expecting."

"I didn't say I wasn't expecting…"

"Expecting, and a relative's death…hmm." Mrs. Patmore contemplated as she poured them both a cup of tea. "That speaks of inheritance."

"That's right…." Elsie hesitated, not knowing if you could really call it that. "Inheritance."

"But isn't that a good thing? So you come into a little more money just before yar weddin' that's nothing ta scoff about!"

"Well you see… it's not exactly money…"

….

"This is wonderful!" Isobel enthused.

Mrs. Hughes had told Beryl her news, which of course had caused the cook to pass out cold for a few minutes. After she brought her around, she made her promise to keep her secret, and then headed over to Crawley House uninvited hoping that Isobel would understand her predicament: she of course was wrong about that assumption.

"Mrs. Crawley forgive me and I know I came here with my problem but… I don't see how it's wonderful. In fact I'm very worried." She confided.

"I'd love to do it all over again." She said, reaching behind her and grabbing a picture off the table.

Mrs. Hughes put her head down, realizing it was a picture of Matthew. She felt bad complaining about something that Mrs. Crawley clearly wanted more than she did. In fact, she'd never deeply regretted missing out on the experience in question at all… and now to do it in retirement…

"I'm not thinking selfishly I'm really not but…and if things were a little different I would love to….but…" Elsie bit her lip. "It's just that Mr. Carson and I were just about to start a life together. With just enough money saved for the two of us and the two of us alone… and to be quite honest we're healthy and happy for now but at our age who really knows when…"

"Oh yes that's right." Isobel's face fell as she put down the photograph of her late son. She hadn't considered this at all and when she thought of it she realized that Mrs. Hughes' logic about their age applied to her as well and that made her sad.

"I hope I'm not imposing in asking ya this, but I've seen you help so many people and I don't have a clue what to do about this."

"It's alright. You're right Mrs. Hughes. Perhaps this is not something you and Mr. Carson should be taking on. I'll look into some options for you."

"Thank you, really thank you."

Isobel bid her farewell and Elsie was about to leave when Isobel stopped her suddenly.

"You're shocked and a bride to be." The former nurse reminded.

"Yes." Elsie conceded. "That's true."

"I'll be happy to help you in _anyway_ I can. Really I mean it: _anyway._ But that said, while I look for options for you please consider that this might be a blessing and not a curse after all, plenty of good people were raised by Grandparents, Mrs. Hughes."

…

Elsie needed to be in a hurry but decided to take the time to walk back to Downton slowly. Her heart was heavy and she was no less confused than when she'd first read the telegram earlier in the day. She was not used to this. She was always the one who offered the help, solved the problems and of course, carefully guarded everyone's secrets. It was strange to need rescuing of her own in this way: much more so than it had been during her cancer scare and she just didn't now what to make of it.

"There you are love!" Came a loud, jubilant voice.

She looked up almost jumping when she realized it was Charles.

"I've been looking for you, where've you been?" He asked.

She did not reply but simply hugged him tight, burying her face in his chest. He stiffened, surprised for a second before wrapping his arms around her and beginning to rub her back. Somehow she felt calm in that moment. That quiet, still voice in her head she'd ignored because of her panic had been right: he was all she needed.

"Charles?" She sniffled.

"What's the matter?"

He'd actually known something was wrong hours earlier when he'd seen Mrs. Patmore go into her quarters with tea and shut the door, but he didn't say so.

"Charlie um…I got a telegram this morning: my only cousin um…a second cousin actually. He and his wife died in an accident yesterday morning."

"Oh!... That's awful!"

"Yes but… you see there's the matter of his will."

He tilted his head and gave her a questioning gaze just as Mrs. Patmore had. Elsie decided to just come right out with it.

"I don't know what to do…"

"You?" He laughed, trying to make her feel better about whatever the situation was. "You always know what to do."

"Oh not this time: ya see I'm afraid you won't want me anymore."

"Elsie Hughes! Nothing in this world could ever make me not want you!"

"Well I hope that's true. I certainly feel that way about you." She said he reached down to wipe the tears off her cheeks.

"What is it, love?"

"Charles how would you…"

"You can tell me anything." He reassured.

"Charles have you ever thought about having a family with me?"

"What?!"

"You see that's what my cousin has left to me: his children, twins actually and they will be here on Friday."


	2. Expect The Unexpected

Chapter Two- Expect The Unexpected

"I'm sorry-w what!?" He burst, unable to hide his surprise. "You'll have to say that again I think…"

Carson was beyond shocked and like her he didn't really know what to think. He had so very many questions, and while he felt panicked, something started tugging at his heart the minute she told him her news. Mrs. Hughes never would've guessed this; she thought he'd be upset. She took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. His outward reaction made her nervous.

"I know we never expected we would have children…" She continued. "That the mere idea of it is ridiculous…"

"I should say so! I thought perhaps a cat but..."

"A cat." She laughed.

"Yes a cat, but not a baby!"

"Children." She corrected. "They're children."

He sighed. Children were such a stark contrast to a cat.

"How do you feel about this?" He asked carefully.

"Charles… do you have the time to spare, I think it best that we talk for a while."

"No." He said, taking her hand in his own and squeezing it. "I don't have the time to spare. But I will make time."

Elsie took his hand and squeezed back, leaning her head against his shoulder as they ventured into Downton's garden.

"How do you feel about all of this?" He asked again, having not gotten an answer the first time. She didn't realize that she was his main concern in all of this.

"Me?" She laughed. "Overwhelmed: confused… sad." He wanted to interject when she said this; it hurt him that she felt sad and he wanted to remedy it. "Charlie I went to Crawley House that's why you couldn't find me earlier."

"Oh?" He asked, letting go of her hand and wrapping his arm around her.

"You know how she is, Mrs. Crawley. I thought that perhaps she could find a solution for us."

"A solution?" He asked. Elsie didn't notice he seemed puzzled.

"Yes. That is, somewhere we can find for the children to go."

"Who says we need a solution!" He cried, almost alarmed.

"What are you saying?" She asked, pulling away from him.

"I'm saying I…why don't you want to keep them?"

"Oh Charlie! You're hurt!" She smiled, cupping his cheek in her hand. He looked away, obviously trying to guard his feelings. "You sweet man."

"Well they're _**your**_ family." He reminded.

"But that's the thing, they're children, young children: they'd become _**ours**_. And Charlie they're not cats or puppies."

"How old are they?" He'd met to ask that before.

"It doesn't say."

"You don't know?"

"No. I just remember they're young. They were only married…. six or seven years ago I can't remember."

"Oh."

"Well he was a much younger second cousin. I can't believe he'd leave something so important to me, especially when I don't really know them! I don't know if they're boys or girls or anything…I haven't even seen their father in fifteen years. I just: I don't know what to do or what I should do." Elsie put her head down, nothing seemed right to her, keeping them, giving them away…

"Would you have wanted children?" He inquired.

"Huh?" She looked up, confused by his question for a second.

"If we had done this twenty or thirty years ago would you have wanted to have children?"

"Would you?"

"Yes and you?"

"If they were yours." She specified and he blushed. "It isn't that I don't want them. Mrs. Crawley tried to convince me that it's nothing more than a blessing and maybe it is but…"

"Perhaps it is."

"But I'm being practical. This calls for practicality more than it does anything else! Is it practical to think we can take care of…"

"We may be getting on but we're not bedridden Elsie." He reminded.

"Yes but we're not young! Why do you think people stop being able to have children at a certain age?"

"What people?" He asked.

"Women people!"

"Yes but that said…"

"That said we should do the responsible thing."

"But…they're your family."

"Charles."

"Elsie."

"I…"

"I-I want to do it." He sighed.

"What!"

"They need parents." He reminded. He'd always had a soft spot for children, especially after Lady Mary had captured his heart as a little girl. "And I don't see why it shouldn't be us: I think it's perfect."

"I'm surprised to hear you say that….that was the last thing I thought you'd say…"

In truth he was more surprised he'd said it, he found it out of character for himself.

"I'm surprised you don't want them."

"Charlie if something should happen to us, which it will…. I don't want them to loose two sets of parents that just…"

"I think we have a nice life ahead of us." He confessed. "And besides. They'll loose two sets of parents either way if you give them up."

…

Mrs. Hughes had expected virtually any outcome but this one. She'd thought he'd be upset if she wanted to take them in, which she'd decided against. She could tell that her decision to give them up was breaking his heart and that very fact crushed her but she still couldn't shake the idea that her decision, now that she'd come to it, was undoubtedly the best one. As a result, their relationship became rather icy over the course of the next day and a half and it didn't go unnoticed downstairs. Elsie thought she was doing the right thing; and he thought she was being heartless. It was causing a rift between the two of them that neither was comfortable with, but both refused to be the first to speak out. She would not apologize and he would not cave in.

Anna and Bates watched the couple carefully during dinner, perplexed at the silence between them. Charles and Elsie thought they were the only ones who noticed it, after all it was their fight but in truth their cold feelings toward one another seemed to pervade the room to the point where it completely paralyzed everyone else. Even Thomas noted how the quiet between the two impacted him, and that in hindsight it'd been so obvious all these years that they'd loved each other. Their not speaking seemed so foreign it was almost frightening. Daisy barely remembered having parents, but supposed that this was what it would be like if they fought and you still had to eat dinner with them anyway.

"Hello." Came a kind, unannounced voice. Everyone stood at once when Mrs. Crawley came in. "I do hope I'm not disturbing anything, I just wanted to speak to Mrs. Hughes for a few moments if I may."

"Oh, of course." She said, happy to get up from the table.

Carson looked up eagerly, following Elsie's every move as she and Mrs. Crawley went into the hall. He knew what this was about and felt he should be part of the conversation. So did Mrs. Patmore and like Carson, she did not approve. She bit her tongue, trying hard not to urge him to follow them.

"I've done what you asked." Isobel said as the two women walked outside. Elsie had agreed to walk back to Crawley House with her to discuss her news. "There's a children's home several towns over who can take them…"

Isobel paused and Elsie found herself swallowing a lump in her throat she hadn't realized was even there.

"We can take them there next week." Isobel continued.

"Oh…" Isobel noted that Elsie seemed more startled by the news than relieved. Elsie wouldn't admit it but it was in that moment that the impact of her decision really hit her. "G-good."

"Now Mrs. Hughes, since I've done you a favor I'd like to ask you for one."

"Certainly ma'am."

"Let me keep them for a few days, please. There can't be much room for them in…"

"There's not. And I've yet to speak to her ladyship."

"Very well then I will keep them." She smiled.

"Y-you would do that?" Elsie's heart began to pound.

You see, Elsie couldn't shake the feeling that Isobel, Beryl and worst of all, her fiancé thought she was a heartless monster…when in reality she was merely trying to save herself and these children a world of pain.

"Yes of course. It'll give them a couple of days to…to recover." She smiled her heart sank.

Isobel couldn't fathom giving away these children if she had the chance to keep them and thought it odd that Mrs. Hughes would so willingly. She wouldn't say it but didn't really believe she wanted this no matter how much she insisted she did.

"Anyhow, I'll see you at the train station tomorrow, I must be going."

"T-thank you so much…and really I-I know you must think me awful Mrs. Crawley but… I'm just trying to do what I think is best."

"I understand." She reassured. "Good night Mrs. Hughes."

"Goodnight."

The two women turned away from each other and parted in the dark.

"Mrs. Carson." Came a baritone voice. Elsie jumped and almost screamed.

"Oh…. Charles." She smiled.

"Here… its chilly." He said kindly. He'd brought his coat out and draped it over her shoulders, pulling her into a hug as they walked.

"You still love me." She reflected, closing her eyes, feeling the first tears begin to trickle down her cheeks. She'd been trying to hold them back since she'd first told him about all of this and found now that she couldn't.

"Of course I still love you." He soothed, pulling her into a hug. "Nothing you could ever do could make me stop."

"I was afraid for a while I wouldn't get to be Mrs. Carson after all. I know you must think me awful darling."

"I don't understand your decision." He said, lovingly taking her face in his mammoth hands as he leaned his forehead against hers. "And I think it should be _our_ decision but I don't think you awful. Not for a minute."

"Oh Charlie don't you think I'd love to see it as you do: that I could see these children as a gift and nothing more. That I could blindly believe we could raise them and live happily ever after. I'm old Charlie, and I'm tired. I've worked myself to the bone the whole of my life as have you, you…"

Elsie stopped when he leaned in to kiss her. Engaged or not, they had only kissed a few times before. She let herself get lost in the kiss as she cried and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Believe me I don't want it this way. "She promised. "But this is how it has to be."

"Elsie…"

"People our age don't do this."

"Maybe that has to change. Times are changing, remember?" He sighed. "I'm the last to admit it."

"For a while I thought you would refuse to ever admit it."

"Just meet them." He said. "Let's just…know what we're getting into before we do anything too rash."

….

Elsie, Charles and Isobel went to the train station the next day all equally filled with an almost desperate kind of nervousness. Carson found himself afraid the children wouldn't like him and Elsie was terrified she'd love them instantly. And then there was Isobel who simply couldn't bare the thought that the poor little dears were already being dragged all over heaven and earth… little did they know they were about to be uprooted again and given up for good: probably to be separated from each other forever.

Elsie's breath caught in her throat when the approaching train stopped suddenly. None of them really had much time to think before people started to disembark and the platform was suddenly flooded with travelers. In the distance, Carson spotted a woman about Cora Crawley's age helping not two but three young children off the train, one of them a baby perched precariously on her hip. Isobel noted she seemed like she was about to drop the smallest child but did not notice or care. At first, Carson didn't think these were the children they were waiting for; after all there were three of them instead of two. But then the little girl caught his eye. She was about five or six, with striking auburn hair and he couldn't help but notice even from a distance that he looked like his Elsie. Within seconds all his fears came true and his heart melted.

"Miss Elsie Hughes?" The woman asked, her Scottish accent apparent in just addressing Elsie. She approached them, toddler hanging off her hip and the two older children, the girl and a boy in tow.

"Y-yes?"

"I'm Mrs. MacArthur. I'm from the children's home in Glasgow." She announced, ridding herself of the toddler, a little girl and shoving her into the unprepared Isobel's arms.

The three were shocked but Isobel took the child happily and without hesitation. Elsie on the other hand was floored. She'd not expected three of them, and she'd certainly not expected a baby.

"Oh hello." Isobel giggled at the baby.

"Oh my…three?" Mrs. Hughes had to ask.

Carson watched as the twins, who remained hidden behind Mrs. MacArthur, took each other's hand. He couldn't imagine how frightened they must be.

"Three. I'm afraid Mr. Hughes was never able to update his will after Arabella was born." She said, pulling a clipboard out of her bag. "Here sign here, here, here…and here."

Mrs. Hughes was more worried now than ever but didn't hesitate to sign: she found something about Mrs. MacArthur off-putting but she wasn't sure what it was.

"Congratulations: they're all yours." She said, gruffly handing the children's enormous bag to Carson without uttering a word to him. He was aghast and wanted to call her out on her manners, or rather the lack of them, but she spoke again before he could.

"Good-bye children, this is your cousin Elsie I expect she will take very good care of you: have a nice life."

She bid farewell to the children without another word to the rest of them and went off. Isobel looked down into the toddler's confused face, watching as she sucked on her fingers.

Mrs. Hughes was more than overwhelmed: three kids and they were all hers, just like that? Carson started down at the scared children and Elsie got on her knees to greet them. Little did the adults realize Elsie comforted all three children immensely. Despite only being a third cousin to them, they could tell she was family and she reminded them of their father. They found a deep familiarity just in being near her.

"Hello children. I'm your third cousin, Elsie."

"We have two other cousins?" The boy asked, confused. He hic-upped when he spoke and they could tell he'd been crying.

"No sweetheart." Elsie laughed. "It's just me."

She grew quiet for a moment after saying this, the impact of her statement hitting her: she really was all they had.

…

The two older children, Ainslie and Allaster, seemed awed by Crawley House at first. Like Elsie, they were farmer's children from Argyll and had never been to a house quite as elegant as Isobel's. Elsie found she could relate to them in this sense, their reaction to this type of home not dissimilar from her own when she first entered service as a very young woman. Carson, who'd grown up in far more elegant surroundings than Elsie and the children, thought their amazement was kind of humorous, and hoped that they wouldn't be _too_ amazed when they visited the Abbey for the first time.

Neither of the children were vocal about this, or about anything for that matter. In fact, they barely spoke, their eyes downcast and expressions solemn. They seemed a bit alarmed when the maid came in and took their coats and bag. It crossed Isobel's mind that perhaps they didn't understand the concept of maids, an idea that was pretty ironic considering the fact that their new guardian was Downton's head housekeeper.

"I want you to feel truly comfortable here." Isobel told them, she still carried Arabella in her arms as she led everyone into the sitting room. "You will be staying here, with me for a while I hope that's alright. Please, call me Aunt Isobel."

The children nodded slowly, accepting this kindness but couldn't help but wonder why Elsie was not taking them home. Something about the idea bothered Ainslie in particular. Allaster however was preoccupied with his condition. He'd been coming down with a head cold and had been trying to hide it since they'd first arrived at the children's home, having been told he wouldn't get to make the journey with his sisters if he was ill. He wondered if it was all right now to acknowledge that he didn't feel well at all.

The children were polite but didn't say very much throughout the rest of the evening, one being secretly ill, another burdened and the smallest one very confused. Carson and Elsie felt a little out of place as regular guests in Isobel's home, but she liked the idea of breaking the regular order of things and having them there as friends. They stayed through dinner and until it was time to put the children to bed.

"Will ya be back?" Ainslie asked, taking Elsie's hand and studying her engagement ring when she tucked her into bed.

"Of course lass." She soothed, running her fingers through the girl's auburn hair, trying to get her to sleep.

"Good." She yawned, still holding onto Elsie's hand.

"Don't you like Mrs. Crawley?" She asked.

"Yeah but— " Ainslie yawned again, hugging Elsie's arm as she started to drift off. For a moment she thought she had, "I want my brother."

"He's in the next room, you'll see him in the morning."

"Ummm I want my Daddy."

"I know angel I'm so sorry about that."

Ainslie turned back over to look at Elsie, blinking a few times to try to keep her eyes open.

"I don't remember her but I think you look like her."

"Oh?"

"My Mama."

"Oh…"

"She died when we were really little. When Arabella was born."

"Oh, I'm so sorry my love." Elsie was surprised, wondering who it was then who died with their father, she would later discover it was a neighbor and not his wife. Ainslie closed her eyes again and sighed, starting to fall asleep, still holding on to Elsie's arm.

"Goodnight lass. I'll see you tomorrow." She whispered, kissing her forehead.

"Would you like to stay for tea?" Isobel asked; she was waiting in the hall when Elsie closed Ainslie's door.

"Oh, no. No I'm troubling you so much, I couldn't impose further. Do you know what's keeping Mr. Carson?" She asked he'd put Allaster to bed while she was tucking in Ainslie.

"Oh it's why I've brought tea up, it seems Allaster has come down with a cold."

"Oh! I'll stay if…"

"No, no. I'm a nurse remember?" She smiled warmly. "We'll be fine."

…

It was late when Carson and Elsie finally got back downstairs, so late, in fact, that everyone else was already tucked away for the night. Thomas and Anna had covered for them with the family that night.

"How about some tea before we head off to bed?" He asked. In truth he wanted to talk to her.

"That sounds nice." She smiled, making her way toward the stove.

"No, no. I'll do it."

"Oh." She giggled, thrilled by the offer. It was one of the things she loved about him, that he never assumed certain things fell to her just because she was the woman.

"You didn't notice, did you?"

"Hmm?" She inquired, getting some cups out of the cabinet.

"It's Ainslie. She looks like a little you, enough to be your lass." He laughed.

"Does she now? And is that why you're so adamant about…"

"It might be _a_ reason."

Actually, he had a growing list of reasons. It had crossed Charles' mind that Ainslie in particular, probably looked much like what their natural child would look like, that thought had further solidified his desire to keep her young cousins.

"So what do you think now, after meeting them?"

"I-I don't know how we'll tell them…"

"Elsie we can't give them up, especially with Allaster so sick it isn't right. They're pleasant, wonderful children and they like you!"

She sighed. "They are at that…. and they like you."

"You never expected it did you?"

"Perhaps not in this way… but what would we do with them? We can't retire yet, not if we have them to…"

"We'll have to speak with his lordship."

"His lordship?"

"Yes. We can't impose on Mrs. Crawley forever."

"Oh I don't think she'd mind. I think _she_ wants to keep them."

Little did Mrs. Hughes realize, Isobel really did want to keep them and planned on asking to keep them instead of taking them to the children's home.

"And you really don't?"

She sighed and came up behind him; hugging him as he made their tea.

"My love, I'm just trying to do what's going to be less painful for us all." She closed her eyes, leaning her face against his back. The teakettle began to hiss when she said this.

"Life is painful no matter how you look at it." He reminded. "After all, their real parents aren't supposed to be dead are they? And we're not supposed to just be starting a life."

Elsie closed her eyes again and said nothing, not wanting to acknowledge his last statement. He turned to face her and backed her gently against the wall and held her there.

"You didn't even hold the baby."

"No I didn't hold the baby."

"I know you don't have a heart of stone." He whispered, his nose touching hers.

"You know, usually it's me trying to talk you into something." She closed her eyes, resting her face against his.

"Sometimes its my turn to reassure you, after all that's what marriage is about, isn't it Mrs. Carson?" She giggled as he leaned in to kiss her and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

In that moment they heard a loud clang and turned to see Daisy behind them. She was startled that she'd walked in them and dropped the tray she'd been carrying.

"Oh! Oh I'm sorry! I'm sorry Mr. Carson, Mrs. Hughes!" The girl picked up the tray and bolted from the room without looking at them.

"Daisy!" Elsie called after her.

"I'm sorry!" The girl replied from a distance.

Carson and Mrs. Hughes remained silent for a moment after and listened as

Daisy ran back to her room and shut the door.

He sighed. "It won't be that hard Elsie, I promise. Ainslie's only five… don't you think she's a little more mature in some ways than Daisy?"

"Shuuu."


	3. She'll Come Around

Chapter Three- She'll Come Around

"I hope you're feeling a bit better today." Carson said, placing his hand on Allaster's forehead. The little boy sneezed in reply and began to cough.

"He's just a little bit better today." Isobel announced, coming into the room with a bowl of hot soup.

Allaster, who'd mostly lost his voice, now was excited about the warm soup and happy that Mr. Carson, who he liked, had come to see him. At the same time, he missed his twin sister and wanted her by his side. She was not allowed to see him.

"Well he's alright isn't he?!" Carson asked suddenly. Isobel noted that he seemed alarmed.

"Yes. He'll be just fine in a few days." Isobel smiled kindly at Allaster and placed the soup in his tiny hands.

"I want my sister." He pouted hoarsely.

"I'm sorry love, we've been over this; we don't want her to get sick too, remember?" Isobel reminded the boy.

"That's right." Carson agreed.

"You can see her just as soon as you're well. Mr. Carson, the children told me they like to be read to when they're ill, do you suppose you could…"

"O-of course." He agreed, kind of surprised and Allaster nodded enthusiastically.

…..

Carson had ventured over to Crawley House by himself after breakfast had been served. Elsie stayed behind and worked, having promised him she would join him there later. She'd also agreed that they would approach Lord and Lady Grantham soon about what to do. But she still had extreme reservations about taking in the children. She'd repeatedly addressed her concern that they were too old for children, but had failed to remind him that they were still working, and that their work didn't allow them the space or time for a family (and in particular three very small children).

This was the reason she assumed Anna and Bates had yet to start a family of their own when she knew they wanted to. On that same note, Elise was terrified that having children might mean she'd be forced to quit her job (and that her fiancé would be obliged to keep his). She'd worked hard all these years, and despite wanting to retire, being kicked out because she was a mother was something she refused to endure.

Finally, there were the children themselves. Charlie had pointed out that she hadn't held the baby and he was right. Elsie had decided that not holding her would be easier. She was worried that doing so would forge some kind of connection between her and the child and she wouldn't be able to let go. This was already happening with Ainslie and was exactly what she'd been worried about.

Elise knew she'd never begin to forgive herself for the pain this was going to cause Ainslie in particular, when she gave them up… And that's precisely why she steered clear of the smallest Hughes child.

It had occurred to Elsie, you see, that with the older two she was cousin Elsie, and that perhaps one day she'd become a mother to them but with Arabella it would be different from the start: she would be the only mother she'd ever known and that was overwhelming…it was a true life commitment, one she wasn't sure she wanted.

There was more to Elsie's refusal to take on the children than age and workload, in fact a lot of her reservation was deeply personal. So personal she was hesitant to share it with Charles and she supposed she'd have to.

But for now, she was still very much undecided and Charlie was under the impression they were going to discuss the situation with Lord and Lady Grantham within the next couple of days. She knew he'd be with her but was nervous and had no idea what to say. They were kind people and generous employers. She was still deeply touched by their offer to care for her during her cancer scare but didn't see why they'd be inclined to help now. Charlie insisted that they would but she was skeptical and even though she liked them she'd always been annoyed by Carson's faith in them: his insistence that they were like his family.

…

Later That Night

"I'm sorry about your brother." Isobel began. "I know you miss him but I promise he'll be well enough for you to visit and play with in a few days."

It was late and the other two children were fast asleep, but Ainslie was up, sitting in front of the warm fire playing cards with Isobel. She felt strange being the only child awake in this big, quiet house. She'd never gotten that kind of individual attention from an adult before and in truth she relished it.

"Yes…" The little girl seemed distracted.

"Are you alright, love?"

"Why doesn't she want us?"

"Who?"

"Cousin Elise."

"Oh sweetheart." Isobel paused. "You see she hasn't ever been a mummy before and I think she's just a little scared."

"Grown ups get scared too?" She tilted her head.

"Oh yes we get scared too. But I don't want you to be afraid anymore."

"You don't?"

"No." She said, taking the girl in her lap when she came around the other side of the table.

"Even we get sent to an orphanage?" She asked. Ainslie shuddered: truthfully she was scared to death by this prospect.

"No." Isobel smiled, kissing Ainslie's nose. "I promise that's not going to happen. She'll come around."

"What if she doesn't?" The wise little girl probed further. "Mr. Carson likes us. Did you know that? He wants to be our new Dad." Ainslie smiled at this thought. She liked Carson and thought he'd make a nice Daddy. Her own father had never paid much attention to them and the fact that he wanted to be their Dad touched her deeply. "I heard him tell Allaster that when he was sleeping!"

"Oh you did?" Isobel asked enthusiastically, pretending she didn't know. She'd heard it too.

"Yeah but cousin Elise doesn't want to be our Mum."

"How does that make you feel?"

"Sad." She confessed, lowering her tiny eyes. She liked Elise and the idea that she didn't feel mutually about her and her siblings hurt her a lot. "I don't wanna go to the orphanage."

"Ainslie. I promise that she'll come around. I just know she will."

"And if she doesn't?" The girl asked again. Ainslie was not used to adults coming around for her and had a gut feeling that Cousin Elise would not follow through for them.

"Either way, you'll have Auntie Isobel." She smiled. "I promise I will fight to keep you if she decides she cannot and that you will always have a home here."

…

"Now, what's this all about?" Carson asked, placing his hands in his pockets.

The crickets chirped happily as Carson and Mrs. Hughes walked along in relative silence. She was deep in thought, trying to think of a way to explain this to him. She sighed.

"I don't want to be a mother." She said matter of factly. "I don't think I ever really did…if I had I would've left service long ago and married…I had my chances."

She gulped, not liking lying to him, which she was a little bit: she had wanted a baby for much of her adult life, but not enough to give up her independence or her ability to care for her sister.

"I'm lucky you didn't take them." He smiled, wrapping his arm around her. She sighed with relief inside. She'd been terrified he was angry with her and this one gesture let her know he was not.

"I couldn't be happier I waited for you love…I do wish we'd decided to be together sooner."

"I don't' know how you couldn't see that the timing is perfect."

They stopped and he turned to face her; her face illuminated by the moonlight. He wanted to take the moment to kiss her, but decided he needed to hear what she was going to say first. He was nervous. He'd also been waiting for her all his life. He loved her and didn't want that to change. He knew that part of him would love her no matter what she did, but another part of him didn't think he could forgive her for giving away three perfect children that could've been theirs: that wanted to be theirs.

She put her head down before beginning again. "It's Becky." She confessed.

"What?"

"It's Becky. She's why I don't want to be a Mother. I've been taking care of her, in one way or another practically since I could walk! I just wanted some time in my life to not have to take care of anyone…well except for you, my love. But you would care for me too."

"I-I would." He was stunned by her confession and wasn't sure how he hadn't thought of all that. Of course she'd been caring for Becky, since she was too young to care for anyone.

"Have you always cared for someone?" She asked him.

"No." He confessed, almost embarrassed.

His childhood had been carefree compared with hers (and many other people's), then he'd been a performer, and then finally a butler…an esteemed one. Carson had never realized how privileged he was before these few moments in the garden with his fiancé and was frankly dumbfounded.

"Retired or not, Becky is my responsibility." She put her head down, not wanting him to see that she was tearing up. "And I have to make sure I have the resources to care for her: how am I to do that with three bairns to feed?"

The truth was Becky and her care were a huge reason why Elsie had never married and had the baby she wanted so much. She didn't want Charlie to know that though, not when she was in the middle of making one of the hardest decisions of her life.

She didn't want him to know that he wasn't the only one who thought of these children as a blessing, and considered that they might be their future happiness… Elise knew her heart would ache for them everyday after she said goodbye and that she'd never, ever have a chance to be someone's mother again.

"But Elise it won't be just you, it'll be you and I doing this." He protested.

"Charlie, don't try to change my mind anymore." She said, her eyes flashing with tears.

He could see she was crying now and paused. He wanted badly to comfort her but didn't know how. At the same time, he also wanted to do his best to protect the children and make them part of their family and for a minute he didn't know what to say.

"I understand. And I don't want to ask you for anything you can't handle or don't want. For example, if we were younger, I would not ask you to bear my child when you did not want to."

"No, no Charlie it wouldn't have been that!" She sniffled, seeming to plead with him.

The idea that he thought she wouldn't have wanted to have his child hurt her. He could tell that, and in an instant, he understood he'd said the perfect thing. After all, what was the difference really?

"I'll see you later, love." He said, kissing her forehead and turning away from her.

"Charlie wait! Please." She cried.

"I promised to read Allaster a story before bed." He explained, not looking back at her as he began his journey to Isobel's.

"S-see you later then." She almost whispered. Elise remained in the garden, beginning to sob in sadness and confusion as he walked away.

…..

Somehow it wasn't Charlie's words but Isobel's that rang in Elsie's head, as she walked. 'I'm not a mother anymore.' Isobel had said sadly. 'And you never got to be.' The words almost taunted her, their impact feeling much like a knife shifting deeply in an already bloodied wound.

Elsie was supposed to return to Downton before meeting Charlie and Isobel back at Crawley House but had decided not to. She was far too distraught, her mind too full, and her heart too heavy for work. She'd remained in the garden all this time reflecting and trying to figure out what to do, but now that it was getting late and the children were probably asleep, she'd decided it was time to go and face her fiancé and sometime friend.

Elsie was puzzled when no one answered the door at Crawley House and let herself in quietly, even more surprised when she was greeted by the sound of the baby crying. The house was dark and quiet save Arabella's sobbing. Elsie wanted to call out for Isobel or Charlie but said nothing and followed the noise into the sitting room where she found the smallest girl by herself.

"What's the matter my little lass?" Elsie smiled down at the baby.

Arabella stood alone in her crib fussing and sucking on her own hand. Elsie waited a moment, wondering why no one was there to tend to her, then remembered that everyone was probably occupied with Allaster's illness.

"Alright no more tears child, come here." Elsie whispered quietly, her arms shaking as she reached down to pick up the baby. "Come here, love."

Elsie had no idea that Carson was hiding in the hall, watching her with the child. He found himself smiling. The girl stopped crying and looked up at Elsie with a hint of curiosity in her big blue eyes.

"Hello." Elsie whispered, staring back.

The baby babbled in reply and reached up to touch her face.

"Hello beautiful girl." She whispered, kissing her forehead.

A litany of emotions rushed over Elsie as she cradled the baby she'd promised herself she wouldn't hold. She found it hard to hold the baby she wanted, and had always wanted but knew she couldn't keep. She had lied to her fiancé on that score. She'd wanted a child and she very much wanted these children. She would never admit that in that moment she could feel a remnant of her biological clock ticking and started to panic: there was nothing, after all, like knowing and waiting paralyzed as you watched your last chance at something you'd wanted slip right through your fingers.

"I'm sorry I have to give you up love." Elise whispered. "I don't want to." Carson's heart sunk, understanding her pain when he saw her kiss the baby's

forehead.

"Is she alright?" Came a small voice that made Elsie jump.

"Oh! Oh Ainslie, lass what are ya doing in here in the dark?"

"Auntie Isobel put us here to try to keep us from getting sick."

"Is he that bad off?" She wondered, looking back toward the stairs. Carson quickly ducked behind the doorway where he couldn't be seen.

"I guess so. I-I tried to pick her up when she cried but she's too heavy for me." Ainslie explained sadly.

"That's alright. I was the big sister too, did you know that?"

"You were?" Ainslie asked. She hadn't realized Elsie had any other relatives.

"Oh yes." Elsie smiled, getting on her knees. "You've been taking care of her haven't you?"

"Umhmm." She nodded.

"Since you were a wee lass, and she just a tiny thing." Ainslie nodded again.

Elsie paused, wiping the little girl's hair out of her face and cupping her cheek in her hand. "You know you're far too small for that."

Ainslie nodded again, this was something she'd always known but no one had ever acknowledged. Her inattentive father had just let it happen. Elsie paused, staring back at the child for a moment; she knew she'd seen something of herself in the girl but was overwhelmed that this was what it was.

"Well my love. I promise you don't have to worry about that anymore."

Elsie sent Ainslie to get ready for bed and stayed in the sitting room in the dark, rocking the now sleeping Arabella.

"Charlie, she's so very little." Elsie said quietly, staring down at the sleeping baby in her arms. Arabella had turned over and cuddled into Elsie's chest.

"Yes she is." He approached; surprised she even knew he was there. "And she could use a beautiful, loving mum like you." Carson sighed, deciding he'd give it one last try in the hope that she'd somehow agree with him. He opened his mouth to continue but she spoke again.

"Well, Da what are we going to do with them then?"


	4. Another Way

Ch 4- Another Way

Carson felt rather the family man and Elsie couldn't help but notice how natural he was at it. He handled the children masterfully, much like he did with everyone downstairs. But with the kids he was far gentler than she'd ever seen him be with anyone, except perhaps Daisy. He doted on the girls and was fatherly toward Allaster. Elsie was amazed that he was able to handle the three rambunctious tots so easily. Things very suddenly fell into place with the five of them, it was a very odd thing, as though the three were their natural children and they'd been with them always. Elsie only worried that she wasn't nearly as good a mother as he was a father.

Carson and Elsie had yet to meet with Lord and Lady Grantham about the arrival of their three children and decided there was no better way to do it than to bring them along. For the time being, the children were still living with Isobel, and almost no one at Downton, save Beryl knew of their existence.

"I'm scared." Ainslie admitted.

"There's no need to be scared love." Elsie soothed. "We're just going to the abbey to see our employers, Lord and Lady Grantham, that's all. They would like to meet you."

"They are very nice people and cousins of mine." Isobel smiled.

She and Elsie were getting the girls ready for their visit to the abbey and trying to explain to Ainslie what was about to happen.

"Oooh!" She marveled.

"Yes, I suspect you might get to play with their granddaughter, Sybbie and that Arabella might get to play with my grandson, and theirs, George, who lives there with his mother."

"You're a grandmamma?" She asked, thinking this was neat.

"Yes I am." Isobel laughed.

"Miss Sybbie is about your age lass, do you think you'd like to make a new friend?" She asked and the girl nodded.

Ordinarily Elsie wouldn't have promised that she'd get to play with Sybbie, but she figured that Mr. Branson would want the girls to be friends as much as she did, even if his lordship happened to protest it, which Carson had promised he would not.

"Where do we live?" Ainslie asked suddenly.

"Well love. We're still working that out. We work at the abbey and we live there but…"

"You will be staying with me until they can find a cottage. I hope that's alright." Isobel interjected. Elsie nodded in approval of the other woman's explanation.

Ainslie paused. She liked Isobel but didn't understand why she'd live with her if Elsie and Carson were supposed to be her new parents. She tilted her head and stared back at the women, showing her confusion.

"Well actually we have a cottage." Mrs. Hughes smiled at the thought.

She looked forward to sharing the new home with Charlie but never expected they'd fill it with children. The thought she'd been apprehensive about days before filled her with joy now.

"We do?!" She asked excitedly.

"Yes." Elsie began. "But you see, we can not live there just yet."

"Why?"

"Well, first Mr. Carson and I aren't married yet…"

Elsie hesitated in saying this, she hadn't imagined explaining this to the children, even though she'd known she'd have to and was sort of nervous doing so.

"Ooooh!" Ainslie hadn't realized.

"We've loved each other for a long time but only decided to get married over Christmas."

"That's romantic." The girl said simply, surprising both women who never would've guessed the small girl had much of a grasp on such things. They both laughed.

"Yes I suppose it is." Elsie smiled. "Anyway we can not live there because we didn't intend to live there for a long time, not until we retire."

"What's retire?"

Elsie paused, figuring the girl wouldn't have known the word. Retirement still wasn't much of a thing in Argyll.

"When we stop working."

"Ooooh."

"So, we don't know what we're going to do, but we'll find a home for us soon and in a few years we will move to the cottage."

"So you want me?" Ainslie asked.

Elsie smiled. "Not only do we want you, we want you and Allaster and Arabella to be in the wedding."

"That's a delightful idea!" Isobel agreed.

"I'd been looking for flower girls and aside from Miss Sybbie I thought I'd run short." Elsie beamed. "It looks like my girls showed up at a perfect time. So what do you say, be in Mummy's wedding?"

"I can call you Mummy!" Ainslie asked in surprise.

Elsie looked up, surprised as well. She had said Mummy without thinking about it. She supposed that met she felt like one now. She stared back at the little girl, surprised that she wanted so much to call her Mummy. Ainslie's eyes grew wide and she started to get nervous as she awaited an answer.

"Yes. I'd really like it if you called me Mummy." Elsie smiled, watching the girl's eyes brighten and she just started to nod excitedly. Before Elsie could blink though, Ainslie hugged her.

"Are you sure?" She asked. Arabella looked on carefully.

"Yes my lass. I'm proud to be your Mummy." Elsie promised, swallowing nervously and fighting back tears.

The little girl's request reopened an old wound and made her feel a little disarmed at first, but then she gave in to hugging the girl, deciding it was best to return to Downton this way; as a real mother.

….

"Are you alright my boy?" Carson asked. He gave the little boy a glass of orange juice and they sat in Isobel's parlor waiting for the girls to come downstairs.

"Yeah. Why do they take so long?" He asked.

"Because they're women." Carson laughed. "And most of them take a lot longer getting ready for things than do we."

"Ooooh." He pretended to understand.

"Are you feeling better?" He was very concerned about the child's cold, which had started to subside in the past few days. Luckily, his sisters had not caught it.

"Yes sir." Allaster paused. He had a few questions for Carson but was afraid to ask them.

"Here, I have something for you." Carson began, putting his hand in his pocket.

Allaster looked up in surprise, no one had really ever given him much before. The children, you see, had been mostly neglected since their mother's passing almost two years before. Being so small, they felt no need to explain that to Carson and Elsie and they would not for a time. Allaster had not realized, however, that Carson took notice of how few toys he and his sisters had and decided to do something about it.

"A present for me?" He asked curiously.

"A present for you." Carson laughed.

"Thank you!" The little boy cried. He and his sister only dreamed of presents, even on Christmas.

He ran and jumped on top of an ottoman right in front of where Carson stood, watching eagerly as he took a small item out of his pocket and placed it in the boy's hand. It was still wrapped and Allaster was dying from anticipation of what it was.

"My father gave this to me when I was about your age and it always met a lot to me." Carson began, nervous about the next thing he was going to say. "And I- I well I thought since you are going to be my son, that you might like to have it."

Carson didn't add that he'd always planned on passing down this particular item to any son he might have, and before Allaster, had given up on that idea many years before.

Allaster looked up at Carson wide-eyed and just stared, not believing he'd just answered the question he wanted to ask so badly. The boy didn't even want to open the present now. Carson was worried and a little hurt, hoping he hadn't upset him. He'd thought he _wanted_ to be his son…

"Do you mean that?" Allaster asked seriously.

"Yes Allaster of course I do."

The child smiled brightly and without a word, began to open the present.

"Oooooh!" The boy marveled, his eyes sparkling at the tiny, dark blue colored train. It was about the size of a modern matchbox car and he loved it instantly.

"What do you think, do you like it?" Carson asked.

Allaster nodded, his eyes still transfixed on the toy.

"Would you like to keep it?" Carson inquired further.

"I'll keep it, but only if you promise to play with it with me, please Daddy!"

Carson was taken aback, never expecting him to begin calling him this. Little did he realize, the boy hadn't called his own father Daddy or anything like it, just sir.

Allaster said Daddy as casually as possible and began looking back at the car, not noticing as Carson started to tear up.

"Yes my boy." He promised, kissing his forehead. "Daddy will play with it with you."

….

"Will they be surprised?" Allaster asked, his tiny feet dangling off the side off the couch. He held his new tiny toy train in his hand, careful not to focus too much on it. He'd been told not to do so in Lord and Lady Grantham's presence.

The family of five was waiting in the library for Lord and Lady Grantham. Carson and Elsie quietly exchanged glances, looking directly over their brood of three and back at each other. _They_ were still surprised and by this time it had been almost three weeks since the children had entered their lives, they figured that Lord and Lady Grantham would be astonished.

Elsie was actually worried that they wouldn't take it well, but Carson had no doubts to the contrary. Arabella started to fuss and Elsie picked her up, putting her on her lap, causing Ainslie to scoot closer to her.

"Carson, Mrs. Hughes, so sorry we're a little late, but we…" Robert stopped, surprised as soon as he saw the children. At Carson's signal, they all rose in the Grantham's presence.

"Who do we have here?" Cora asked sweetly, coming up behind her husband.

Cora noted quickly that all three children looked like Elsie, enough to be her natural children. If she hadn't known her for many years, she would think they were. What none of them realized at the time, was that Elsie was related not only to the children's father, but to their mother as well.

"M'lord, m'lady." Carson began. "Allow me to present Ainslie, Allaster and Arabella Hughes."

Allaster wondered if his name would be Carson soon. He hoped that it would be. Ainslie was enchanted with the house, and had practically attached herself to Elsie at the hip.

Arabella started to suck on her hand and looked back and forth between Elsie and Cora, hoping she wasn't being transferred to a whole new group of strangers for a fourth time in the past few weeks. No one realized that the baby was confused and highly agitated, but felt safer with Elsie and Carson than she ever had with anyone else. Unlike her siblings she did not yet understand that they were her parents now.

"Well hello." Lord Grantham greeted, still puzzled.

Both Robert and Cora quickly put together that the children were somehow related to Mrs. Hughes and quickly began to wonder if they were a sibling's children or grandchildren.

"Hi." The twins said sweetly. Carson was upset in an instant but Lord and Lady Grantham smiled.

"Well hello." Robert laughed. "What do you have there Allaster?"

"It's my train, but it was Mr. Carson's train before he became my Daddy." He said, looking back up at Carson.

"Yes, yes it was." He confirmed.

"Anna." Elsie called, seeing Anna walk past the open door.

Anna came quietly into the room. She'd met the children briefly, earlier in the afternoon and they were delighted to see her again.

"Anna do you suppose you could take the twins to Mrs. Patmore, and have her give them some ice cream while we talk with Lord and Lady Grantham privately?"

"Of course Mrs. Hughes. Would you like me to take Bella as well?"

"No. I'll keep the baby." She said, feeling the need to keep her as close as possible.

"Come along you too, do you like ice cream?" She asked, taking their hands and they hopped off the couch.

"We haven't had it in ages." Allaster admitted.

"Bye Mummy!" Ainslie waived.

"Bye love."

Anna understood why Elsie may've wanted her to take the twins and left quickly, shutting the door behind her. Carson and Elsie were slightly embarrassed by the children's liveliness and didn't notice that Cora and Robert looked on amused in the best of ways.

"They certainly are cute." Cora giggled, beginning to pour the tea.

"Oh m'lady let me…" Elsie protested.

"No, no Mrs. Hughes, allow me, please." She insisted.

Robert didn't protest, seeing that Carson and Mrs. Hughes were obviously a little overwhelmed. More than anything, he was curious now as to what as going on.

"The children are my late cousin's m'lord, m'lady." Elsie began. "I am the only family they have left and Mr. Carson and I have decided to take them in and raise them as our own."

"Oh that's so sweet!" Cora cried.

"It was a difficult decision…" Elsie began.

"At first." Carson added he really wanted to say _for you_.

"But what about your retirement?" Robert was puzzled.

"That's the thing, m'lord, we can't keep them _**and**_ retire…not straightaway."

"So we've decided to stay on, and find a cottage nearby, _if_ you'll have us." Elsie emphasized.

"We understand that in our positions having children is…"

"Of course you may stay on." Robert laughed. "Times are changing. And you both have always been so loyal, I see no reason why you shouldn't have a family of your own, in fact I think it's wonderful."

"As do I." Cora added. Both Elsie and Carson sighed with relief. "Were you planning on sending them to the village school?"

"I…we haven't even thought about it." Carson admitted.

"The last few weeks have been difficult. I didn't know they existed, let alone that I was their father's choice of a guardian."

"Well." Cora said. "We're going to bring a tutor for Sybbie in a while, if you would like the twins could join her."

"I-I'll consider it yourladyship, thank you." Elsie was surprised.

"Where are they living?" Robert was curious.

"With Mrs. Crawley but JUST until we're married." Carson emphasized.

"Yes she loves them. She's been very generous we couldn't have kept them without her."

"That sounds like cousin Isobel." Robert laughed and Cora nodded.

"Even so, as their parents please feel free to bring them here." Cora interjected.

"That would be lovely." Elsie confided.

While she appreciated Isobel's help she was starting to feel like her children would never be really hers if they stayed with her for very long. The idea that she could safely bring them to her home and not worry about loosing her livelihood was a huge relief, one that healed old wounds even her fiancé knew nothing of.

"Thank you m'lord, m'lady, and as for the twins, I know they were a little…rambunctious but…"

"Nonsense Carson I found the little fellow quite adorable." Robert said.

"That's right they all are. Mrs. Hughes? May I hold the baby?"

Elsie was surprised by this kind request. "C-certainly m'lady."

…

"We're proud of our lad and lass." Elsie said, beginning to tuck Ainslie and Allaster into bed together.

It was late and she and Carson sat on either side of the bed the children were sharing that night. The twins were used to sharing a room that was, until they arrived at Isobel's house and Allaster became ill. Now that he was well, they were having a sleepover together. Carson and Elsie however had told them they wouldn't share a room in the future because they didn't find it appropriate.

"Did we do good?" Allaster asked.

"You did _well_." Carson emphasized, causing both kids to giggle.

He didn't really feel it was true, and thought the children would need some more work before spending time at Downton but he didn't want to break their little spirits by telling them that.

"When do we get to live with you?" Ainslie asked.

"When we get married lass." Elsie replied.

"When's that?" Allaster followed.

"In about two months." Carson answered.

"That's a long time." The boy moped.

"It'll go by fast we promise." Elsie said, kissing his forehead.

Carson and Elsie were surprised at the outpouring of love they received from the twins when they put them to bed. In fact they had a hard time breaking away from the children and getting them to settle down. The couple left the room, their hearts filled with the purest of love. Elsie was overwhelmed and almost to the point of tears, feeling guilty that she almost gave away tiny people who depended on her and could love her so much so quickly. Carson though, was suspicious.

"Goodnight Arabella." Elsie soothed, leaning into the crib and laying her on her back.

"I wonder why they took to all of that so quickly." Carson quipped, following her into the room the girls shared.

"To what?" She asked, tucking the baby in bed.

"Well, for one, calling us Mum and Dad."

"Oh…" Elsie had been surprised as well.

"Wouldn't you think that would be harder for them?" Carson was perplexed and thought back to when Allaster had first called him Dad earlier in the day, it had been as though he'd never had anyone to call that before and he didn't know what to think of it.

"Well I would've thought it would've been easiest for this one, but I think she's still afraid of us a little bit."

"Awe, is that so, well we can't leave her thinking that." He said, coming up behind Elsie. He put his arm around her waist, joining her in looking down at the half-asleep child.

"Hello sweet girl." Elsie whispered. "You can call me Mummy. Yes you can."

Arabella had no real reaction and just stared up at Elsie confused. She was tired, over-whelmed and still a little scared. She'd never gotten much parental affection and so the idea that all these adults could be so sweet to her was truly baffling and it made her more confused as to where she was supposed to be.

She wanted to love them all back, Elsie especially, and it made the girl upset that she left her every night. She'd been very afraid when Cora held her earlier, worried she'd be given to her now when she wanted to be with Elsie who she understood looked like her and her siblings. But unlike them, she didn't understand the concept of having two parents, and so what they'd missed all this time was completely foreign to her.

Elsie and Carson didn't realize most of this of course, but they both knew something was not quite right. Cora had offered to have Arabella be taken into Downton's nursery with George and Marigold, but Elsie had declined for the time-being, saying she needed to keep Arabella with her at least until she adjusted to her new surroundings.

"Maybe she doesn't know what a Mummy is." Carson suggested.

"That's right she wouldn't, would she?"

Having had little experience with small children, neither of them realized that the baby was simply overtired in addition to everything else and no longer had the strength to cope with her own emotional state that day. She was exhausted.

"We love you Arabella Hughes." Elsie whispered, kissing the child's cheek as she continued to drift off.

"And we promise we're going to make everything all better."

Carson and Mrs. Hughes had no way of knowing that that was how the twins thought of them too: like they were there to make everything all better. It's why they loved them so much and right away. The couple had been confused and weary about taking on children at their age, but the twins understood who they were to them within days of their meeting. The children, you see, had been without parents since long before their father's death and had been ready for Elsie and Carson to rescue them from the time they were very small, back before the couple had ever been ready for each other. Carson and Elsie would not discover this for some time.

…

"It seems so strange, doesn't it?" She asked, holding his hand tightly as they walked back to the abbey.

It was the middle of the night and they were tired, but neither wanted to let go of the other, and so they walked very slowly.

"What does?"

"What does?" She laughed. "All of it truthfully, even our being together."

"Oh?" He asked, feeling a little hurt by this comment. She ignored it and went on.

"Particularly, it seems so strange to have three children now; especially when we've never had…"

"Relations." He offered.

"Y-yes."

"Well we could."

Elsie gasped, her eyes growing wide, obviously affronted by his suggestion.

"What would be the problem?" He asked.

"Charlie Carson you know what would be, this is so unlike you!"

"Think about it for a moment." He said, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist as they walked. "You don't really want to leave me tonight, do you?" He asked and she gulped, which answered his question for him. "It'll be fine." Carson continued. "Besides who would ever know?"

She looked up at him, about to protest and he continued talking.

"It'll give us time to get used to each other, so the honeymoon is relaxing…"

She sighed, having forgotten about this part and was disappointed immediately. "Do we even still get to go a honeymoon?"

He ignored her question and continued. "You're not going to get pregnant or anything."

"No, far stranger things have happened as of late..."

In an odd way, Elsie wouldn't be surprised if that did happen. It certainly wouldn't be more odd than inheriting three strange children who happened to look just like her.

"And I'm not going to leave you, not if the earth depended on it." She smiled when he said this. "And it's less than two months now…"

"If we've waited this long it."

"It's just that I've been looking at you today, all day and I think it'd be wonderful." This was his subtle way of letting her know he desired her.

"It will be wonderful." She smiled, kissing his lips softly. "But not until there's a ring on my finger." She said, he took her hand and showed it to her.

"Mrs. Hughes, there _**is**_ a ring on your finger."

"You know what I mean!"

"Yes, I'm afraid I do. Truthfully I wouldn't care what we did or didn't do, but I'd love to spend the whole night with you, uninterrupted." He said, taking her hands in his own. "Just to bask in your presence and nothing more."

"Soon enough my Charlie, I promise."

"But by then you'll be the mother of my children and that..." He laughed. "We'll be interrupted quite often I think."

"Oh Charlie, it's really the opposite I think. They're stuck with me either way, and it would've been a disastrous match without you. But you're here and now they have this wonderful father who makes us all a family."

Elsie didn't think she'd be a decent mother if he weren't there to be a wonderful father.

"Get away with you." He said jokingly, unable to hide how happy her words made him.

"I mean it my Charlie." She said, wrapping his arms around his neck. "I'm so happy we get to go another way after all."


	5. The Truly Unexpected

Ch 5- The Truly Unexpected

"Is it really soon?!" Ainslie asked hopefully, jumping up and down.

"Yes, just a month now lass." Elsie explained.

"Now hold still." Anna cautioned.

It'd been more than a month since Elsie had inherited her three young cousins and they felt more and more like a real family everyday now. Elsie and Carson were starting to be comfortable with being parents, and the twins were growing re-accustomed to being loved. The children spent more time at Downton now, their adoptive parents enjoyed getting to be with them and watching them blossom in their new environment. Neither thought much about the children's obvious and overwhelming happiness, not understanding that the twin's joy was born partially out of relief, and that before their father had died, they'd been desperate for things to change.

Presently, Elsie was making preparations for her upcoming wedding, which was only weeks away. The planning was tedious and took up much if not all her spare time. She was excited about her wedding and couldn't wait to officially be Mrs. Carson. At the same time, no one was more excited about the nuptials than Ainslie who was over the moon about getting to wear a big white dress and go to a fancy party.

Arabella was upstairs, in Downton's nursery with Lady Edith's child; Marigold and Allaster had gone into town with Carson. Ainslie felt very much like an adult, helping her mother with preparations for the wedding. Some days were filled with boring tasks she couldn't help with, but today had been the day she'd been most excited about. She'd been waiting for it for weeks. Today, Anna was fitting Ainslie for her dress, and Elsie for hers. The little girl, who was now obsessed with weddings (Elsie called her, her little romantic), was even more excited about seeing Elsie in her dress than getting to wear her own.

"I still think that's silly." Elsie laughed.

"It's cause you're the bride Mummy!"

'I'm a bride when I'm old enough to be your grandmother.' She thought, but didn't say it aloud.

"She's right Mrs. Hughes." Anna laughed. "You are the bride and it is more exciting than being a flower girl for sure.'

Elsie looked back at Anna and Ainslie as they shared a laugh. Something about the light in Ainslie's eyes as she giggled caught her gaze and for a moment she stopped, swallowing hard. Elsie shook her head, dismissing the fleeting thought she didn't even allow to come fully into her consciousness, and looked down at the papers in her hand.

"Ainslie my love. How would you like to help Mum keep a secret it's a surprise for Da."

"Yes please!"

"Can you keep a secret?"

"Yes!" She cried excitedly.

"Are you sure?" Anna teased, smiling up at Mrs. Hughes. She already knew what the secret was.

"Yes, yes, I promise!"

Actually, Ainslie was already keeping a secret for Carson. It was a wedding present for Elsie; one she thought was the most romantic ever.

"I'm arranging a trip, just for he and I." Elsie said. "You will stay with Mrs. Crawley."

"Why don't we get to go?" She asked sadly.

"Because when grown ups get married, they need to go off by themselves for a while, just the two of them, just to get to know each other and have a little fun."

"Don't you already know each other?"

"Oh yes my girl." Elsie laughed. "But since we're newly married, it'll be different."

"How?" Ainslie asked cluelessly.

Both women stopped and looked at each other, unsure of what to say.

"I-I'll explain when you're older, Ainslie."

"When?" She asked.

"Oh lass….perhaps six years down the road or so, perhaps a little sooner, perhaps a little later."

"Ohh."

"You'll have fun with Isobel I promise."

"Yeah." Ainslie paused, deciding that she'd ask Aunt Isobel if they could arrange a surprise for her parents upon their return.

…..

"Dad are we going to find out about the surprise?" Allaster asked, yawning as he followed Carson along the busy street, holding his hand.

"Yes we are. I already talked to your sister about it, but I have to talk to you."

"What is it?" He asked anxiously. "And did you ask Arabella as well?"

"Well my lad." He lifted the boy into his arms. "I'm not going to ask Arabella. She's only a baby you see, I don't think she'd understand."

"Oh?"

"How would you like to be Allaster Carson?"

Allaster smiled and began to clap.

"Yay Dad."

"You see, where the law is concerned, you belong just to your mother and not to me."

"Why?" He asked. Carson sighed. He'd had to explain this to Ainslie as well.

"Because she is your cousin and your guardian, and, and well when your father, your father by blood passed away he decided she'd be your new Mummy."

Allaster sighed and hugged him when he brought up his real father. Carson paused for a moment and patted the small child on the back. Lately, he'd come to the understanding that something had been very wrong in the children's former life but he was unsure what it was.

"In short my boy, I want to adopt you and your sisters, that will be my wedding present to Mummy. So we can all be a family, officially just like we'll be husband and wife, officially."

"What's adopt?" He asked and Carson laughed.

"Become your Daddy, legally."

"Yay!" The boy squealed.

Carson smiled and put Allaster down, his heart warmed by the young boy's enthusiasm. It didn't matter to him that the children weren't his flesh and blood, he felt like more of a father than he'd ever thought possible.

"Come on Allaster, don't tell your sisters, but let's have an ice cream before we go to the court house, alright?"

…

It'd been a long day and many hours passed before it was time to put the children to bed. By this time, they were all back at Crawley House where the children were still living. Arabella had gone to sleep first, then Allaster, and then sometime later, Ainslie started to nod off. They'd all had a wonderful day, but Elsie was plagued by a lingering thought in the back of her mind she could not get to go away. It wasn't even a fully formed thought, just a faint feeling in her gut that there was more to the children than met the eye. She wasn't exactly sure what it was. Ainslie was half asleep when she laid her down in her bed. Elsie kissed the girl's cheek as Carson turned down the light.

"You remind me of someone." Ainslie said, her eyes half open.

"Oh I do, who?" Elsie asked, running her fingers through her hair.

"Mmmm I couldn't remember before but I know for sure now. She was real pretty." Ainslie pouted sadly at the memory.

"Oh?" Elsie inquired, allowing the sleepy child to take her hand.

"Yeah." She paused, peering up into the older woman's face. "When I look at you, I can see her." Ainslie blinked.

"I hope that doesn't make you sad lass." Elsie said. The thought made her sad and she didn't even know what she was talking about exactly.

"It makes me happy." She smiled.

Ainslie paused, trying to hold back tears. The little girl focused hard on the older woman's face before her and reached up to touch it, studying her reassuring smile. Ainslie blinked slowly as she watched her, she didn't have to think too hard, as Elsie's face served as a guide, almost an exact roadmap, in certain places, to the one she'd gazed at so adoringly for the first few years of her life.

"Mama." She mumbled, tears in her eyes, as she was overwhelmed with a yawn.

"Shuu…" Elsie's heart jumped and began to quicken for reasons she wasn't quite sure of yet. Elsie swallowed, trying to hold back her own tears. The girl's pain, made her think of her own mother's death, and of a far greater loss she could not bear to think on. "I'm sure your Mama is real proud of ya now sweetheart. Do you know her name?"

"My mummy's name was Allison Hughes and she was real pretty and she looked just like you." The child said, still stroking her adoptive mother's face almost longingly as if she were beaconing it to turn back into the much younger face of her long past mother.

Carson watched, tears in his own eyes as he watched all the color drain out of his fiancé's cheeks. Elsie's heart stopped for a moment. She felt all the breath get sucked out of her instantly. A pain shot through her stomach that made her feel like she'd been punched hard in the ribs. She heard nothing in that moment but her own soul, screaming madly and uncontrollably inside her head. Not knowing what else to do, and understanding she could not loose control of her emotions in front Ainslie, Elsie took the child's hand and clasped it tightly in her own, the meaning different now that she fully understood who Ainslie was.

"You can tell me about her." She began, unable to hold back her tears as she laid her face on Ainslie's. "And we'll think on her together." She whispered.

"You knew her?"

"Oh yes my darling." Elsie swallowed her tears, trying hard not to start bawling. "Better than you could ever imagine."

…

"Elsie, Elsie what is it!" Carson asked when they got out into the hall.

He'd known something was very wrong even before she'd turned white as a sheet. His mind whirled and he worried desperately about why she was so devastated. He could've never imagined the truth. Without a word, Elsie burst out sobbing, and he took her into his arms, holding her tight and beginning to rock her. Knowing she was in the safest place she could be, Elsie allowed herself to become completely hysterical. She started to shake as she cried and he enveloped her further in his arms.

"My love whatever it is I am here." He soothed. He gathered her pain had something to do with the young woman who'd mothered the children, and he wondered how she'd known her. He thought that perhaps she was a cousin she hadn't mentioned before.

"My baby! Oh Charlie my baby."

"I know. But Ainslie will be alright."

"My baby's dead!" She sobbed, Charlie's face fell and he looked down at his hysterical fiancé, not knowing how he hadn't understood sooner.

"Oh my love, my love it's alright."

"No, no it's never going to be alright not when she's…" Elsie couldn't speak now and just continued to sob hysterically.

She was overwhelmed. Allison was a subject she couldn't think about much anyway, and now to find out that she'd passed away almost two years earlier and no one had seen fit to tell her.

"There, there my Elsie its alright."

"I di-I-di." She was crying so hard now that she couldn't even form a sentence. Carson didn't know what to do, he wanted to calm her down, and was a little upset that she hadn't seen fit to tell him, her fiancé, that she had a daughter somewhere in Scotland.

"Shu…please I know you're very upset, but don't make yourself sick."

"My baby!"

"Shu… Allison is your daughter I take it." She nodded against his chest.

'They didn't let me keep her and now they took her away forever." She choked.

"Who didn't let you keep her?" He was horrified.

"My Mother." She sniffled. "She took her away from me and gave her to cousins of ours for them to raise when she was a baby." Elsie paused for a moment, beginning to cry again. "Oh my God Charlie, I almost gave away my grandchildren, my only piece of her!"

"Is this what this was all about?" He asked tenderly, wiping a few tears from her eyes as he took her chin in his hand. She nodded. "You were hesitant." He continued. "To become a mother because that'd been taken away from you."

She nodded through new tears that threatened to fall. It was why she hadn't wanted to keep Ainslie and her siblings.

"I'm sorry I lied to you, I was going to explain about Allison." She started. "Please don't be angry with me." She begged. "I love you more than anyone I've ever known, please Charlie."

"I'm a little confused, and I hurt that you hurt, but I'm not angry with you love. I do wish." He said. "That I'd known you were married before."

He was hurt by this, and in that moment it tested his faith in her. She'd never said anything about a husband or child in her past, and in a way, she'd let him believe she was likely a virgin; they'd never really discussed it. She sniffled.

"No I've never been married." Elsie burst out crying again.

Charles was a very respectable man, she had doubted he'd want her after this, it was why she'd selfishly waited to tell him, thinking that perhaps the longer she waited, the longer she'd get to keep him and love him. She clung to his shirt desperately as she cried, beside herself now. Her baby was dead, the children she'd adopted were her biological grandchildren, and now the love of her life was about to walk away forever. Elsie swallowed nervously, the bile rising in her throat, fighting her as she tried to speak. She closed her eyes and took in the feel of his warm embrace just surrounding her. The gentle beat of his heart, being the only thing keeping her from completely loosing it.

"I had Allison all alone when I was a young woman." She swallowed hard, gathering the strength to utter the next two words. "Via rape." She whispered. Carson felt his heart drop straight into the pit of his stomach.


	6. The Missing Piece

Ch 6- The Missing Piece

"I can't believe you still love me Charlie." She said, tears in her eyes still.

"You can't believe _I_ still love you?" He asked, taking her tearstained cheek in his hand. "You're the best thing that ever happened to me Elsie Hughes." He kissed her forehead sweetly.

Truthfully, Carson felt terrible for pressuring her about consummating their relationship the other night. It was out of character for him anyway, and now that he knew she'd been raped before…well he didn't want to bring her back to that place mentally and he certainly didn't want her to think of him in that context. Even though she was going to be his wife soon, he felt overwhelmed with shame over the whole matter.

"My only wish is that you and I had met sooner." He said. "When I could've rescued you, or at least, helped you save your daughter."

Elsie beamed, looking back up at him. "You're so gallant. No wonder I love you so much."

"Mrs. Carson. Just know I could never love you any less, not for anything in the world, especially not for what someone else did to you."

She sighed, settling into his chest. It was late at night but the two sat outside in Isobel's moonlit garden. It'd taken a while but Elsie finally calmed down, at least externally. Inside she was overwrought. Without Charlie and the children, she wouldn't want to live a moment longer now that her baby had passed. But hope of life with her husband and her three babies gave her the will to live.

"She was a beautiful child and she hated that we were apart, just as much as I did."

"So she knew?"

"She knew and I got to see her a few times a year, no one ever liked it much. But I was her world, and she was mine, especially when we were together. She lived in Argyll, farther from my parents farm than I would've liked…" She bit her lip, deciding how she was going to explain this to him. She really didn't want to talk about it, but she figured if anyone deserved the story, it was her husband to be.

"It happened, it happened after I'd entered service." She swallowed, burying her face in his chest. "I was home, on leave to visit family, and I wasn't all that young. I was an old maid truthfully." She swallowed, tears beginning to pour down her cheeks at the memory. "I had two men trying to court me at the time. One you know about, Joe Burns, who is a nice man. He'll come back into the story later. And one a traveling salesman, whose name shall not be uttered."

Carson paused, understanding this man was the rapist. In an instant, it angered him that whoever this monster was, he'd taken his love's virtue, violently and against her will.

"He was an attractive man, and he charmed the town. Truthfully, I never liked him much, even before. I agreed to go out with him, just the once and that was my mistake…" Elsie hung her head, taking a breath before moving on. "It's a farming community, where we live, compared to where I was from…there was nothing there. Here if you went for a walk with a young man." She supposed. "Well, there'd be someone to see what happened, someone to hear you scream." She started to shake and he drew her in closer. "But there was no one to hear me scream Charlie and I screamed my head off. I did everything I could but…."

"Shu…it's not your fault it's not your fault."

"I became pregnant, and I lost my job as a result. He fled town. It was all horrific; but I loved my girl like you couldn't believe and she loved me. It was a bond that never faded, even though we spent most of her life apart. We had a wonderful year together, she and I. I nursed her until she was old enough to be weaned and devised a plan to runaway from my family, to abandon them and take Allison to London or Glasgow and start a life, poor, and husbandless among the masses. You see by that time, I'd lived in the city, and I was already no longer just a farmer's daughter from the middle of nowhere. About the time I was ready to leave, my mother announced that I needed to return to work to provide for everyone because our farm could no longer do so. I had no choice, and I began looking for jobs, assuming she would keep my daughter. I was very wrong. I found a job, in Yorkshire, a place called Downton. I said goodbye to my baby and came here, thinking that eventually I'd bring her here to be with me. While I was gone, mother transferred her into the custody of cousins of ours." Elsie sniffled, beginning to sob. "I said 'goodbye my sweet love, mummy will see you soon." She choked. "And then she was just gone Charlie!" She sobbed.

"Oh my love. My love, how I wish you'd told me then."

Charlie felt such enormous guilt, realizing that he could've done something about this and changed the course of his love's entire life, and that of her daughter. He could've been the husband and father they needed, or at least, found a way to keep them together.

"She said it was too difficult with Becky and all, and insisted she didn't want it that way but I never forgave my mother. Never and now that I didn't get to say goodbye I never can. I saw her, of course, over the years. She was my best friend. My little mini-me." She bit her lip.

"She looked like you, just as Ainslie does?" He smiled.

"Oh the image. And she was always my shadow if we were together. But the cousin who raised her, she judged me for what befell me that night. In her mind there was no rape and I was merely a bad influence. She did her best to keep my girl from me, and with me so far away, it worked. They cut off communication between us Charlie. After we were married, I'd planned on telling you everything, and taking time to find her, but now…now I have to wonder if she died hating me, wanting nothing to do with me for all the time we spent apart."

"Oh my love, no one could ever hate you, certainly not your own child. Now we get a new start. I'm just sorry Allison isn't part of it."

"I'm heartbroken Charlie. I want to see this new start but I just can't stop thinking it: my beloved little girl is gone forever."

Carson rocked her softly, thinking about how hesitant she'd been to take on these children, and about how she'd seemed overcome with all sorts of different emotions the first time Ainslie and Allaster had called her Mummy.

"At the same time, Ainslie is my missing piece and I hers. She looks at me and sees her mummy and I look at her and I see my baby. It's uncanny Charlie."

"How did you not know sooner?"

"I thought I was seeing things." She said. "I thought, they're my cousins' of course they're not Allison's, if they were Allison's, I would know, wouldn't I? If they were Allison's that would mean…."

Elsie burst into tears again. This thought had crossed her mind very early on, and she'd dismissed it before ever truly considering it, after all, her daughter was out there somewhere and just fine.

"I'm so sorry for all the pain my love. Let me know what I can do to make it better."

"Be a good daddy now, or should I say granddad…Charlie what do we tell them?"

"The truth. But if it's all the same, I think we should still ask to be considered Mother and Father."

"Why?"

"Because. In Arabella's case, we're going to be the only parents she's ever known, and the twins knew their parents, and yet they're so keen to call us their parents. Something's not right about that my love."

"Yes I know." She sniffled. Ainslie was smart, and she wondered, if she knew the truth yet herself.

"We will tell them tomorrow." He said.

"I suppose its for the best." She sighed.

"May I ask something…insensitive… .as your….husband to be?"

"Always."

"Is this…is this why you didn't think we should…be together the other night." He paused and rephrased. "Is this why you didn't want to sleep with me?"

"It's-it's a reason. I need to feel safe, and very loved when we make love Charlie, so please, not until we're married."

"I would never have you feel anything but safe and loved." He smiled, resting his forehead against hers. "And trust me where I'm concerned you never will."

"That's why I love you so much Charles Carson, from the bottom of my heart."

"And why I wish, I could've loved you sooner."

…..

The next day, Charlie and Elsie made the time to take the children on a private picnic down by the little stream where she'd once forced Mr. Bates to throw his leg braces into the water. The children were giddy to be out with them and were laughing and giggling a mile a minute. Carson was reserved and Elsie was nervous. She studied Ainslie carefully, noticing a familiar necklace around the girl's neck.

"Ainslie, where did you get that necklace?" Elsie asked.

"Mummy gave me it." She mumbled quietly. "A long time ago on my birfday."

Elsie stopped, watching as Allaster grew sad at his sister's words. Ainslie looked back up at her curiously, clutching the necklace in her hand.

"It's a pretty little necklace."

"Mummy loved it, it was her favorite." Ainslie bit her lip.

"Do you know why my girl?" Elsie asked again.

"Because her Mummy gave it to her. Her real Mummy."

"Yeah her real one." Allaster remembered this part.

"Yeah. She was raised by cousins too!" Ainslie realized suddenly, sounding excited for a moment before she was sad again and Allaster nodded. "But her Mummy was alive."

"Yeah she said they took her away because she didn't have a Daddy." Allaster thought this was stupid. "They gave us to you Mama." He said to Elsie. "And they didn't know there was a Daddy what's the difference?"

"There's a world of difference I'm afraid." Elsie explained sadly. "Do you know much about your grandmother?"

"No. Mummy just said she loved her the mostest ever."

"And she missed her so much her heart hurted."

"Yeah it hurted." Ainslie agreed.

Elsie's heart leapt at this; relieved her girl hadn't hated her after all, but upset that their separation pained her too.

"Mummy, you said you knew her." Ainslie asked, a hint of nervousness and hopefulness in her voice.

"I'll never forget giving her that necklace. She looked just like you, wearing it, Ainslie."

The two children looked up at once, giving a collective gasp as their eyes lit up, both immediately understanding the connotation.

"Mrs. Hughes speaks the truth." Carson clarified, rocking Arabella in his lap.

Ainslie's eyes grew wide and Allaster stared back at Elsie.

"I didn't know my lad, my lass." Elsie began to cry. "But it turns out, I'm not your cousin after all, I'm your Grandmama."

The twins stared back, floored for a moment. Both Carson and Elsie were nervous about their reaction, but then, without hesitancy the twins flung themselves into her arms, finally understanding why they felt so connected to her.

"I know my loves." She whispered as they began to cry. "I love you so much. And I know it's hard, loosing your Mum and Da but…. I'm so grateful to have you."

The twins didn't answer and continued to cry as they clung to her. They'd missed their mother deeply, and having this connection to her, in their grandmother, was surreal for them, like a miracle they'd never expected to have. For Elsie, it was a long awaited reunion, and a second chance with her daughter. She held her breath, the fact that the twins were in her arms a relief: she'd almost lost them forever, due to her own self-doubt. The idea of that scared her senseless and now, she was determined never to let them go, especially since they wanted to be with her.

"I love you more than you could imagine my dear children, and I wanted your mother all her life. Just as I'm so happy to have you now."

"Mummy I love you too." Allaster kissed her cheek.

"Mummy me too!" Ainslie cried. "I'm glad you're my grandmummy. That makes more sense!"

'"Yeah." Allaster agreed.

"Yes it does my little ones." She giggled.

"Even though you turned out to be Grandmama." Allaster started. "Can you please still be our Mummy and Daddy?"

"We need a Mummy and Daddy." Ainslie reminded.

Carson smiled brightly and Elsie beamed, her eyes welling with tears.

"Yes my loves. I'd love to be your Mummy always and always."

The twins were excited once more. Feeling more bonded to Elsie than ever, they hugged her again, overwhelming her with sweet hugs and kisses.

'Thank you Allison my love.' Her heart whispered as tears rolled down her cheeks. 'Thank you for second chances. I promise I'll be the mother for them that no one let me be for you.'


	7. The Broken Pieces

Ch 7- The Broken Pieces

A Month Later

"Ainsley lass, don't run too far ahead!" Elsie called, bouncing the baby on her hip as they walked.

"Mama I won't!" She called.

Allaster sighed, resting his head atop his adoptive father's as they walked. The boy didn't think of Carson has an adoptive father, but simply as his Daddy. Carson had shown him, in just a few month's time what a father's love truly was. With him, everything was just as Allaster had always longed for it to be with his real father. As such, the child had fallen into the habit of practically worshiping the ground Charles Carson walked on and made the conscious decision to think on his biological father and their horrific relationship no more. Deep in his heart, he felt healing begin to take place but he didn't realize that's what it was. Instead, said healing simply manifested itself in the boy's actions and he very secretly spent his free time practicing writing his new name in the notebook Isobel had gotten him as a gift. He couldn't wait to start school in autumn and proudly introduce himself as Allaster Carson.

Arabella was beginning to experience similar healing. The baby girl no longer recalled her former life, or, for that matter life without Elsie who she'd fallen in love with as a babe falls in love with its mother. Elsie and the baby had finally made the connection she'd first feared and she found she felt a natural mother to this child just as she had to it's mother many years before. As such, Arabella now assumed Elsie and Carson were her natural parents and would one day have to be told differently.

Still, Ainslie was probably the happiest of her siblings and the most outgoing.

"Mummy where are we going?" She asked from a distance wanting to know when to stop.

"It's a surprise lass we'll explain when we get there." Elsie called.

Suddenly it was spring. Life without the children seemed a world away to Elsie and Carson and while they were still overwhelmed by the transformation in their lives they couldn't imagine not being parents now.

"She's beautiful." Carson whispered as they watched Ainslie skip happily ahead of them.

The little girl practically danced as she rushed down the path, the sun illuminating her auburn-red hair.

"Would you like to go play lad?" Carson asked, lifting the boy off of his shoulders. He kissed his cheek and put him on his feet. "I bet you can't beat your sister to the surprise." He suggested.

"Yeah Daddy, yeah I can you'll see!" He insisted, running ahead to try to catch up with Ainslie.

"Something wrong?" Elsie asked.

"Just tired." He smiled. Letting the children ride on his shoulders was difficult for him but he tried to let them do it as often as he could. "And I wanted to watch them together. It makes me happy to see them play. I just... some of the time I can't believe we have children."

"You're a natural father." She told him. "I'm so glad I get to see it."

"Thank you so much for the opportunity Mrs. Hughes." He leaned over and kissed her softly on the lips.

"Mrs. Carson in two weeks, don't you forget it!"

"Oh I could never forget it." He promised, kissing her again. "Ainslie, Allaster stop here." He instructed, looking up at his children from his fiancé's lips.

The twins stopped, looking up curiously at the big brick cottage at the edge of the path. It had two floors, a big yard and roses growing up the side of the facade. It wasn't Crawley house but the children were still impressed with it, it being far nicer than where they'd spent there first few years of life. Ainslie felt her soul sigh when she first looked at it; something about it seemed just perfect.

"Welcome home my lad and lass." Elsie explained.

The twins turned and looked at their parents with wide eyes.

"We get to live here?" Allaster asked. "With you?!"

"Yes my boy." Carson chuckled. "This is our new home, the five of us."

"Well move in after the wedding what do you think of that?" Elsie inquired.

"Yay!" The two burst, beginning to jump up and down.

Carson and Elsie both found themselves touched at the twin's celebration.

"My lad and lass let's go inside and do some exploring." Elsie suggested.

"Do we get to be with you here every night?" Allaster asked, trying to make sure.

"Yes my boy." Carson reassured, taking his hand in his own as they walked inside.

The twins were excited, anxious to get their first glimpse of what life with their new parents would be like. The five were surprised when they walked inside, not having expected it to be quite so modern. The house was only about fifteen years old but had plenty of modern amenities none of them had ever lived with before. Elsie was excited about them and thought they would make life with young children much, much easier.

"Wow it pretty." Ainslie observed.

"Yes my love it is." Elsie said, placing the picnic basket down on the kitchen table when she heard Allaster's stomach rumble. "After we explore we're going to have a little lunch."

"Because we thought it would be appropriate to have a first meal in our new home, don't you?" Carson asked.

The house wasn't all that large but the twins were impressed with it, it seeming far grander to them than it was. Carson was proud of the place, happy to have four walls to call his own and a family to live there with him. Elsie was overwhelmed. A house filled with a loving husband and three children was too much for her to ask for and went a long way toward the healing old wounds of not being able to provide something similar for her Allison. The baby didn't know what was going on but felt as if for once, something was soundly right and as it should be.

"What do you think Arabella do you want to live here with Mummy and Daddy and your brother and sister?' She whispered sweetly to the baby as Carson gave the twins their tour.

Arabella looked around curiously, not understanding where she was. The twins still lived with Isobel, but Arabella slept in Elsie's room at Downton during the night; having needed the bonding time with her new mother. The baby remembered nothing of her former life but knew she'd been moved around a lot and wondered what this new place was.

Carson and Elsie showed the twins around and couldn't believe the things they marveled over: the stove, the big, inviting fireplace, the modern bathroom and it's big claw-foot tub…the two weren't excited that they would not share a room. At first, Carson had taken the opportunity to re-explain why he didn't find such an arrangement appropriate but Elsie stopped him, suddenly realizing the real reason why they were so amazed by the place.

"My lad and lass, did you not have a bedroom before?" She asked.

They shook their heads no and Carson raised an eyebrow.

"We slept in the kitchen." Ainslie explained.

"Together." Allaster added.

"By the fire."

"We thought we'd get cold at Auntie Isobel's because we weren't by the fire." He offered.

"Will we get cold here?" Ainslie asked.

"No my lass." Elsie explained. "This will be a warm, loving home and you get your own toasty warm places to sleep."

"Even beds?" Ainslie asked.

"Even beds." Carson reassured.

"Daddy?" Allaster asked as he and his twin wandered over to the window seat in the second story bedroom they were all in. This one, they'd figured, would likely belong to the girls.

"Yes my boy?"

"Daddy where are you gonna keep the belt?" He asked, turning toward him.

"Yeah Daddy where?" Ainslie asked anxiously, biting her lip.

Carson paused and Elsie held Arabella tight. Both looked back seeing terror in the twin's eyes at the thought of their sudden question. They'd not thought of it before, but the introduction of a new home brought back thoughts of the old one and so they considered that they should ask and brace themselves. Carson and Elsie were horrified and both held back tears for the moment.

Neither knew what to think or say. One thing was for sure though. It'd been an inquiry that spoke volumes to the future Mr. and Mrs. Carson about what their children had been through and suddenly, brutally answered a lot of question's they'd had about the twin's upbringing, leaving them with many more.

"Allaster, Ainslie." Carson gulped, his demeanor talking on more seriousness as he walked toward them.

Elsie's heart sunk, watching them shrink away from her fiancé and almost begin to cower as he neared them. He reached out gently with each of his hands to steady the children, placing his palm on each of their cheeks and smiling bittersweetly as he got on his knees, noting they both jumped as his touch. They'd never done that before.

" _My_ children." He spoke softly. Those words upon his breath soothed Elsie's soul and she found it was almost enough to keep her from crying. "My children, this will be a warm, loving home, one of love first and discipline second. Sure there will be discipline if need be but there will be none of _that_ in this house. There will be not belt."

He paused, the twins looked dumbfounded at his explanation and Ainslie couldn't help but note Elsie started to cry, just as her mother used to when it happened.

"Your father's hands." He continued, still caressing their cheeks, both children were silent and crying softly now. "They were made for reassurance and for drying tears." He smiled. "Not causing them. _**My**_ children do you understand that?" He asked. "For _**my**_ children there will _**NEVER**_ be any of that ever again."

The twins nodded slowly, big tears in their eyes. Although they'd lived with Isobel several months, they understood it was not a normal or permanent living situation and could not conceive of a father's home, a normal home, without a belt.

"No lashings?"Allaster whispered. Elsie started to really cry and ducked out of the room.

"No nothing." Carson said, tears coming to his eyes. "Oh _**my**_ children give me a hug." He told them. The twins slipped into his arms and laid their heads to rest on his chest, overwhelmed by his promise never to hurt them. He continued. "As long as I have breath I will love you, and for all of forever I promise." He said, kissing each of their foreheads. "Never to hurt you."

Elsie made her way downtstairs, heartbroken and barely able to maintain composure. She was crushed for the children, and it did explain a lot about their former life, but she couldn't help but wonder just what her Allison had been through with this man she'd married. The idea that perhaps she'd been abused too was about to drive her crazy. Her baby didn't deserve that, not after everything else she'd been through. Elsie put the baby in the high chair and began to sort out lunch, deciding to go on quickly, not wanting her share of emotion over the whole incident to hurt the kids more.

Everything was quiet now save the sound of Ainslie crying upstairs in Charlie's arms. She looked over at Arabella who sat, sucking her fingers and suddenly, Elsie couldn't help but sob too.

….

The twins were overwhelmed but ecstatic after their talk with Carson and stuffed themselves over lunch, telling their new parents more disturbing things about their former home life, like their lack of food for example and their father's willingness to spend most of his earnings on something he called liquid courage. Elsie was devastated, but the twins seemed to bounce back nicely, happily enjoying the large meal, and happy new home. Carson didn't realize his bride was dismayed by this, appalled that the children thought some of these things were normal.

By the end of the afternoon, all three tots had fallen asleep and Carson took on the weighty task of carrying the sleepy twins back to Crawley house.

"I'm devastated Charlie.' She told him.

"I'm not." He admitted. He'd expected to hear something like this from the twins.

"Why ever not?! My poor wee babes."

'Because we get the chance." He smiled. "To pick up all the broken pieces. For them, for you… for your Allison. They may've suffered but they don't have to stay like that forever and that means a happy ending."

"I hope you're right." She was skeptical that time and circumstance could heal that much.


	8. Scandal

Ch 8- Scandal

Elsie stared out the window watching the pouring rain cascade down the glass, jumping as the lightening struck. She could scarcely believe she'd been made such a heated topic of conversation and felt almost paralyzed by it. She didn't care much about Downton, but the fact that their new life was jeopardized, the fact that she'd shamed her Charlie: those things devastated her.

"You will do no such thing." Cora insisted angrily, sipping her tea.

Cora was livid, not with the future Mrs. Carson, but with the scandal that engulfed her. She and her husband-to-be, found themselves in the sitting room with Lord and Lady Grantham, trying to figure out what to do.

"Every one knows my shame." She turned, facing her fiancé and employers. "It marks your house. It scars my Charlie." She said, gazing at him with tears in her eyes.

He looked back at her, pained and defeated, his own tears signaling his heartbreak. She took a labored breath, her eyes focused on his now.

"Oh Charlie." She whispered.

He turned away, Lord Grantham looked back sympathetically, wondering how he could fix this mess. He softly pat his broken hearted butler on the shoulder.

…

"Loves what are you doing down there?" Beryl asked.

She'd been watching the children and trying to comfort them but it was too late: they'd already heard everything. The baby was napping in Elsie's sitting room, but Mrs. Patmore found the twins hiding under Carson's desk. They hid their faces when she finally found them.

"Are we bad?" Ainslie asked innocently.

Their father had always made them feel worthless, but to know the truth, some truth they didn't wholly understand, about their real mum's birth being forced on their grandmother… whatever that meant. The twins didn't understand, but they knew the implication. Mummy was bad, grandmummy was bad and so were they.

"He won't want us anymore." Allaster sniffled.

"Now you calm that down, that's ridiculousness if I've ever seen it. Come on, out with you and cookie time!"

The twins cried out, feeling so hurt by whatever was going on that nothing save the power of time could heal them. The twins curled up, holding each other tight as they'd done all their lives. The pair was devastated, feeling their hopes for a different like were ruined.

'Here it goes.' Ainslie thought. 'Some other mess you don't understand.'

Allaster only thought of loosing his new father: the idea made him weep.

….

"Mrs. Hughes." Robert blinked uncomfortably as he spoke. "I don't understand how it came about in the papers… that you're a wanton woman?" He certainly didn't see it.

Elsie breathed uncomfortably. "The truth is m'lord I…"

"We told you they were cousins because we thought they were." Carson interjected.

He didn't think of them in that way. With Allaster in particular, he'd seen his son the moment he looked at the child. The idea of loosing him and his sisters if Elsie left, which she'd decided was best, devastated the butler.

"They're my grandchildren, m'lord." Elsie closed her eyes and just said it, figuring it didn't matter: she'd have to leave anyway.

"WHAT?!" Cora and Robert cried so loud that Molesley could hear it down the hall. Robert's voice made the chandelier shake and Molesley found himself gazing at the dining room ceiling in surprise.

"I don't think there's a very high instance of earthquakes in this part of England Mrs. Molesley." Baxter cautioned sweetly.

"Yes." Elsie continued. Carson hung his head. "M'lord it isn't." She swallowed her tears. "It's far from easy to say."

"Well say it!" Robert stood, angry now.

Something inside Carson jumped, wanting to fight Lord Grantham for snapping at his Elsie. It didn't matter that she was leaving him; he'd fight to the end of the end for her.

"Robert!" Cora cautioned, tugging at his sleeve and urging him to sit.

"I had their mother." She took a breath, beginning to shake. "When I was a young woman, alone in Scotland. I was… I was raped." She let the last word roll off her tongue slowly and closed her eyes, not wanting to see mixed the looks of horror and anger that played upon her face.

"Oh Mrs. Hughes!" Cora cried sadly.

"I was with her a year and at the end of that year, I came here. Then cousins stole the baby I'd very much planned on keeping."

"We didn't realize m'lord, until Ainslie began to speak of her mother."

Lord Grantham stared off, feeling horrible now.

"And you see their father was also a cousin of mine, I thought that's how we were related. I'd lost touch with my daughter, and with all of them over the last few years. Her guardians had never believed it was… something forced on me. So they cut her off from me. I'm sorry m'lord, for any shame it brings."

"No. No Mrs. Hughes. I'm sorry." He said.

Carson stared back wondering why she hadn't apologized to him.

"Mrs. Hughes, I don't know how they found out: but I promise they won't get a way with it." Cora explained.

"No they will not." Robert uttered, having obviously changed the focus of his anger.

Carson's heart thudded now that this part had all been resolved. What about him? He was her beloved? And worse, she was his. He was so angered that she'd been slandered he didn't think he'd be at the wedding.

"If you'll excuse me." She said, tears in her eyes.

Elsie left quickly, Carson at her heals.

"Elsie!" He cried, following her toward the green baize door and down the stairs.

"Don't touch me!" She cried when he tried to softly grab her arms.

They didn't know the children were hiding and watched as he reached to grab her. The two were unreasonably afraid. There they went again, daddy grabbing mummy, hurting their mummy. It was how she'd died.

"Mummy!" Allaster cried out, fearful about what might happen to her.

The couple sighed turning toward the place they'd heard the little voice.

It'd been one of the more trying days of their lives, and a shocking one to boot. Elsie had shown up in the paper's gossip column: _Downton's Housekeeper Keeps More Than One House_. She'd seen it while in the village with the children and thought that it was merely about her and Carson's new life and cottage. Sometimes the papers did cute stories about people and families: she assumed it was that.

Instead, the article detailed her painful loss of a bastard daughter and how it had culminated in her inheriting the children. Elsie was devastated, confused and scared: she'd never imagined herself receiving her very own scarlet letter, especially when she was going to be Charlie's bride so soon. Moreover, who would've said such things? Who could've found out?

"No." He said. "Don't leave me Elsie. Please, never my love."

The twins were confused: daddy used to say that too.

"Everyone knows I'm not good enough for you now." She cried.

"No, no." He soothed, drying her tears with his hands.

The twins watched carefully; having not believed him before when he said this is what his hands, as a father and husband, were made for.

"Who could've done this?" She asked.

"Shu… please, please let me hold you." He whispered lovingly, pulling her into a hug.

"You still want me?" She asked, surprised.

The twins were surprised too but couldn't believe that _they_ were still wanted. After all they were the reason Elsie was bad. They'd been a reason their real mother was too (according to their original father).

"Always and always."

"I don't know how we'll deal with everyone knowing."

"We'll live it down." He promised, rocking her now.

"I don't know if I can do it to you."

"If you don't it'll kill me." He whispered, rubbing his nose against hers.

Her heart split at his words. It would kill her too but she wasn't sure she could stand to see him shamed. In her mind it was only right that she and the children leave. Carson was begging her not to do it, and even Cora had been angered at the thought.

"Are we bad?" Ainslie asked, she and her poking their heads out of their hiding place, Carson and Elsie looked back in surprise.

…..

Upstairs, Lady Edith was in a panic. If they'd done this when they found out Mrs. Hughes had had a illegitimate daughter, through no fault of her own… how would _she_ ever live the Marigold situation down? Moreover, how would she ever be happy again? The incident brought back old feelings that had been anxiously tucked away when Marigold moved into the house, but remained unresolved and had grown perhaps more complicated than ever.

It'd made the papers that Downton's housekeeper; the future Mrs. Charles Carson was a wanton woman. If she was that for having been raped… Edith knew she was good and ruined and that was the end of it.

'No wonder.' Edith thought. 'Mrs. Hughes didn't say anything when she obviously found out.'

It'd been obvious to her for some time that Mrs. Hughes knew about Marigold. And for a while that'd been something that terrified her, but now she finally understood why her secret was safe.

….

"I told you I don't know anything." Baxter gave a tired sigh, hurrying down the steps as Thomas breathed down her back.

"Oh don't you? You've been watching the children."

"So have you." She gave a frustrated sigh. "You're not the one who reported it?"

"No!" He seemed surprised. "I wouldn't go _that_ far Ms. Baxter. I just resent being late with my news." The truth was he would go that far. He just wouldn't where Mrs. Hughes was concerned. First off, he was afraid of Carson's wrath and of Lord Grantham's… but really he liked Mrs. Hughes, a sentiment he kept hidden inside.

"Hmm." She said reaching the closet she'd been headed toward. "You know, we all should've known."

"What do you mean?"

"Thomas." She sighed, putting the blankets she'd been carrying on a shelf and closing the door. "We all have little secrets. You know mine, as does Lady Grantham now mind you. And we all know yours. But those children… they're her image. There's no way they could just be cousins. I'm surprised she didn't know any sooner, but the point is; she didn't. Now the question is, if you didn't do it, who did?"

After parting with Thomas, Baxter took the devastating news and the conversation to the only logical source she could think of: Mr. Molesley.

…..

"My loves why would you ever think you were bad?" Elsie cried, more pained by this than her own shame.

She and Carson had taken the twins into his pantry with a pot of tea to discuss their outrageous statement. The twins sat uncomfortably in their chairs.

"Um…" Ainslie began.

The pair looked up, noting their adoptive parents sat calmly, almost lovingly awaiting an explanation. Beryl had told the couple of what the children had said when they were upstairs. It'd confused the cook but unfortunately, Elsie thought she understood. The twins were crying softly, sure they were about to be tossed out, that they would loose this mummy too. They didn't know how to express how they felt or what had been the situation at home, all they knew was that this reminded them of it.

"Somebody made you have mummy." Ainslie offered.

Elsie swallowed hard, she didn't want them to know that, not until they were much, much older.

"And everybody knows that now and that means we're all bad. A-and that you won't want us now."

"Because we bring trouble."

"Which is what daddy used to say." Allister confessed quietly, looking back up at Carson.

The couple felt their hearts drop, wondering how much worse the confessions could get.

"No." Carson said with a smile. "Allister. Nothing could ever make me not want you, or change that you're my son, or change that I love you, or your sisters or mummy."

Ainslie watched Elsie as she cried; the smile that played upon her lips as she shed such big tears confused the little girl. She didn't think she'd ever seen anybody smile AND cry before she'd meant Elsie.

The twins paused at his words, not used to hearing anything like them. They almost didn't know what to make of it, but climbed onto his lap when he held out his arms.

"You're not bad." Elsie whispered, running her fingers through their hair. "You're our perfect little treasures, you're a gift."

Carson laughed in agreement, delighted despite his pain. "That's right, you're the best surprise I've ever received."

The twins were overwhelmed. Every time they thought things would become as they were, Carson and Elsie proved them wrong.

"So we're not." Allaster yawned. "Bad?"

The twins had worried their way though their nap and now that they'd been reassured by the only two people who mattered, they were ready to fall asleep.

"No m'lad. You're our wonderful children." Carson reassured.

"And even when things are wrong, you've got nothing to worry about." Elsie bit her lip, looking back at the man she'd just tried to abandon. "You have a home, and a ma and da who love each other, and you."

Ainslie yawned, succumbing to sleep without saying what was on her mind: that similar news had led to her mother's death, at her father's hand.

"Thank you for this wonderful gift, Mrs. Hughes." Carson said as the children drifted off. He thought they couldn't hear him, but the fact that they did would change them forever. "You're not tainted, your not bad: you're my heart." He spoke firmly. "And so are they. Your leaving will be the end of me Mrs. Hughes." She said nothing and leaned into him, kissing him deeply. "It will mean the loss of everything I hold dear."

Despite the children in his lap, he pressed into her with all his weight, lips first. He didn't know why, perhaps it was the fact that she might leave, but the news had made him want her even more than he already did and he wanted, right then, to show her in everyway how much he still loved her, and how worthy she was of being his wife.

"Oh Charlie I love you so much, how could I taint you, how could I shame you?" She whispered, her breath tickling his lips. She loved him enough to give him up for his sake.

"You don't have that power over me Elsie: only the ability to crush me. And either way, I'll love you forever."


End file.
